Friday, February 1, 2013

Frustrated with self

Between breastfeeding and a decrease in junk food consumption, I feel like I could/should be losing weight right now. But I'm not, and it's mostly because I'm disorganized. I'm grabbing whatever at random intervals; there's no planning or mindfulness so I overeat and eat the wrong things.

Out of nowhere, old diet-y thinking popped up a few days ago. I thought, "I want to lose 10 lbs by my next gyno appointment in 3 weeks. I'm sick of seeing 250 on the scale. And I want to lose 20 lbs by my sister's baby shower.
I want to hear that I'm looking good after giving birth."

What is this? Impatience and seeking external validation, and not much else. It's the sort of thing that never works, or ends up backfiring. I know this. So I dismissed these thoughts.

What I really need to do is establish some healthy, sustainable habits that can lead to fat loss over time. I need to be realistic; overhauling everything at once has never worked for me.

Maybe I can start with eating A vegetable every day? It doesn't sound like nearly enough. I want to add fasting after dinner, and exercise, and and and. But honestly, I don't even have a daily veggie nailed right now.

Honesty can be so depressing sometimes!