Monday, March 19:
7:45 am - turkey jerky, coconut-almond KIND bar
12 - deli turkey slices with gouda cheese slice
note: I fell to pieces after this. Horrible day emotionally: feelings of depression, serious fighting with husband, PMS, and total lack of mindfulness or even the capacity to care about my eating and habit change goals.
many graham crackers with chocolate frosting--maybe 4 total crackers?
several pieces of toast with butter, jam, etc. I think 4 pieces.
It's not that I was trying to comfort myself with these foods so much as there wasn't much in the house, I was totally unwilling to cook, and this was the easiest thing to grab. So I did. I just didn't care.
turkey-guac-spinach-cheese sandwich that tasted like nothing, since I had been crying. (Food always tastes bland or terrible to me when I've been crying.)
Water? No idea. No exercise.
Tuesday, March 20:
KIND bar; 2 pieces of toast--one with butter, one with a slice of gouda
2 graham crackers with chocolate frosting
13 Cadbury mini-eggs (mindful) with a glass of milk. OVEREATING.
burrito made with chicken breast, green and red peppers, onions, tomatoes, carrots, and avocado. Good! I'd never made this before but it easy and filling.
went to BodyPump class
gym scale says: 254
Eating attentive today. Not enough water.
Wednesday, March 21:
half a turkey & bacon panini, half a small piece of quiche, coffee
chicken-pepper-onion-carrot burrito; 12 Cadbury mini eggs (mindful)
pasta with peppers, kale, and meatballs
KIND bar and a few more mini eggs. OVEREATING.
Eating mostly attentive, but had dinner in front of TV because I was with someone else who wanted to do so. I need to learn how to say no in these situations without feeling embarrassed. I still feel like a fat person that doesn't want to be difficult or weird about food and eating because doing so will draw more attention to my problems. One way of minimizing attention is to go with the flow and just do whatever everyone else is doing, whether it's actually working for me or not.
Thursday, March 22:
egg McMuffin, hash brown, orange juice
potato chips and Cadbury mini eggs (mindful)
burger, fries, and Sprite
Ate some fries while driving, which was inattentive eating. Experiencing more and stronger cravings than usual tonight, and there's mental chatter about not drinking enough water, not exercising enough, and everything else I'm not "enough" at in the dieting realm. Honestly, I think hormones are contributing to my moods and urges today.
Friday, March 23:
Cadbury mini eggs & chocolate malted candy eggs: BINGE.
Can't remember the rest of my meals!
Saturday, March 24:
Cadbury mini eggs & chocolate malted eggs
horrible piece of cake with strawberry sauce and whipped cream: BINGING.
spaghetti with kale, peppers, cheese, meatballs; eating in front of TV.
Sunday, March 25:
ham, cheese, and baby spinach sandwich
angel food cake, strawberries, and whipped cream: BINGING.
half a mocha
leftover veggie spaghetti and meatballs